Please welcomeKate Munning , who is here to edify us on those crazy commercials advertizement seed for “ one - acre crisis garden . ”

There ’s a unexampled sensation cross the right - wing television receiver and talking - radio airwaves : apocalypse gardening ! For the low , low price of $ 159.95 plus transport and handling , you too can get a bucket of random seeds that will supposedly be your saving grace in the event of society ’s prostration .

Or asone company describes it : “ This resolution is for people that DON’T cartel governing to feed them if the economy collapses or in case of a foresighted term emergency ! If the economy collapses , a pinch of heirloom seeds will have more barter power than Au because it offers an interminable provision of food for thought and Bob Hope for the future . ”

Article image

What began as one obscure commercial message appear to have become a roaring business , with at least six companies scrambling to profit from piteous non - gardening schlubs . I ca n’t imagine that any respectable gardener would ever fall for this , but someone is obviously buy these “ survival seed ” kit . Even Stephen Colbertrecently lampooned one of these adson The Colbert Report , though he was n’t capable to articulate everything that realize this cozenage so ridiculous .

What ’s so special about these seed , you may demand ? I ’ll countenance them differentiate you :

Let ’s undertake these claim , shall we ? We ’ll start with the “ non - hybrid ” claim , which is the only one with any potential rigor . Like all good scams , there ’s a grain of truth to it , since hybrid seeds ca n’t be saved after harvesting and maturate genuine to typewrite next year , and heirloom seeds do contribute to sustainability in that way . And I ca n’t completely disagree with a point made by one of the most fanatical seed survivalists , who bluntly claims , “ Monsanto hates you . ” But “ man - made industrial plant ” ? Give me a break . Do n’t tell that to the snort and bees that have been cross - pollenate works since the beginning of time , to pitiful Gregor Mendel rolling over in his grave , or even to the family line at Johnny ’s Seeds who do such a fine job with F1 plant form .

Most of these companies do n’t get at to explain why “ non - intercrossed ” seeds are even potentially advantageous , and the whole matter is intelligibly marketed to the average American consumer in an attempt to profit from a combining of fear in this dreary economy and the home gardening trend . This is best exemplified in the generic natural selection of seeds for anywhere in the state . dingy sweetheart , but if anything , heirloom seeds are most worthful when grown in their native clime . The one - size of it - fits - all shroud taken by seed survivalist misrepresent the low opinion these companies have for their client . Nowhere on these web site are growing zones or sprouting rates mentioned . Someone plant that spinach plant in Georgia is in for a raw awakening when it bolts in the span of a hebdomad , and some guy in Minnesota is n’t extend to have great fate with cantaloupe .

Also , their claim that the absolute majority of these seminal fluid will be viable longer than a few years is highly fishy . Knott ’s Handbook , the go - to conduct for many veg growers and published by the University of California , maxes out most seeds ’ viability at around five or six years , and that ’s if the seeds are conscientiously stored with optimal temperature and humidity in psyche . I do n’t hump what kind of infinite - age polymer this “ very expensive drying agent ” is made from , but it ’s not wizard , and consumer would be overbold to remain sceptical .

The list of enquiry blend in on . Does the cent - per - pound of vegetables promised by these kits include the price of compost , fencing material , gardening puppet and equipment , blighter control , and most of all , the nurseryman ’s sentence ? Perhaps most ludicrous is one of these getup ’ “ online trading system for eminent - time value germ in a hyper - inflationary thriftiness . ” They exact that “ if you grease one’s palms come from us now , you will have access to the trading organisation once it becomes necessary and available and will be able to trade in cum for hard cash or other trade good . ” Um , do you really conceive you ’ll have cyberspace access , let alone electricity , once the state crock up ? Might want to rethink that one .

Call me crazy , but I opine it ’s assuming and a little dopy to anticipate the precipitation of beau monde and what form such a crisis would take . While there ’s nothing wrong with being make , stocking up on schmalzy canned food and pile up bucket of ( non - hybrid ! ) seeds is n’t the fresh mode to ensure your survival of the fittest , nor is beginning your gardening efforts after the lights go out . examine forging relationships in your local community and cultivate a garden based on your own climate , favorite foods , intensity level , and budget . You ’ll hear a thing or two instead of being a posture duck for fearmongering shyster , and you ’ll glean the rewards of sustainability in the outgrowth , even if the Book of Revelation does n’t arrive as schedule . It ’s a win - winnings !

Kate Munning write about gardening and food atColtivi .